Holdyn and his best buddy "Santy", or Santiago. I took them swimming this afternoon and boy did they have a good time. None stop shooting each other with water guns! They both have a baseball game tonight so hopefully they will sleep good tonight... I know I will!!
Holdyn also says random things out of the blue. Some times he stops me in my tracks and makes me think "How in the world does he know that?!" or "What in the world is he thinking!" I had another one of those 'stop in your tracks' moments with Holdyn this week, where he blew me away once again. He never ceases to amaze me. His mind is working constantly and I always have to be on my toes because I never know what will come out of his mouth next and what answer I will have to come up with!
Background (If you didn't know): Balloons have always been a very significant reminder to Holdyn of his PawPaw... for some reason! PawPaw passed away in August of 2011. Holdyn was 4 at the time. You never know what a child will remember when they are so young. I knew Holdyn would remember him for some time, but then you assume that they will 'forget' or he would start talking less frequently about his PawPaw. I knew Holdyn adored his PawPaw and his PawPaw adored him and made an impact on his life, but I NEVER knew that almost a year later, Holdyn would obviously have the memories that he does of PawPaw. We got a golf cart about a month after PawPaw died. I thought that would trigger Holdyn to remember him or talk about him since everytime we went to visit GiGi and PawPaw, that was their 'thing', PawPaw took him on golf cart rides every single time. To this day, Holdyn does not talk about anything related to PawPaw and golf cart rides. He takes balloons very seriously now, whether it be his balloon or Hadley's balloon. Before PawPaw died, Holdyn NEVER asked for balloons... we always just had them on his birthday, and he knew that. For about the past 6 months if we go in to a store and Holdyn sees a balloon he will ask for one. He NEVER used to do this. When he asks, he doesn't tell me why he wants one... or two... or three, however, after watching his pattern the past few months, I know exactly why he wants a balloon now, at every chance he gets.
Yesterday (5/1/12) I picked Holdyn up from school like any usual day. We had to stop in to Publix before going home. Publix is covered with balloons. We walked in and like usual, he said "Mom, I need a balloon before we leave". We grabbed the few things we needed then headed to check out. Holdyn went over and asked for a red balloon (of course.. his favorite color!) and he picked out a pink balloon and let Hadley hold that one. As we were driving home, out of the blue, he said "Mommy, I love PawPaw SO much". I told him I know he loves PawPaw and that PawPaw loves him too. He then immediately told me "We have to hurry to get home so we can send our balloons to PawPaw." Every single balloon he has gotten in the past 6+ months, he doesn't get them for him... he get's them for PawPaw. He doesn't even keep them for a few days. He has been releasing them in to the sky almost immediately. After any release, he jumps up and down and smiles so big and says "I just sent PawPaw a balloon!!" I told him I thought PawPaw had PLENTY of balloons and we didn't need to send him anymore. Holdyn said "Well how do you know? Did GiGi tell you?!" I didn't know how to answer that one! It was silent for a few minutes then he said "Well mommy, how does GiGi know how many balloons PawPaw has?" We tried to call GiGi cause I was going to let her answer that one, but she was not home! As soon as we pulled in the driveway, Holdyn jumped out of the car and IMMEDIATELY let his favorite red colored balloon go and it floated up in the sky. As Holdyn watched his balloon float high up in to the sky he said "Well now PawPaw has another balloon!" He then ran over and immediately jerked Hadley's balloon from her hands (of course that caused a major meltdown but he calmy tried to explain to her why they were letting their balloons go, but she just didn't understand!) and he let her balloon go in to the sky. With the BIGGEST smile on his face, he then said "I just sent PawPaw 2 more balloons. He will be SO happy!" and he then walked inside and started playing and continued his day as any other normal day.
PawPaw meeting his 1st great grandchild for the very first time.
After PawPaws death, Holdyn knew he was very sick and he died. He kept asking us where did PawPaw go after he died and we have always told him that PawPaw was in the sky. Holdyn's little mind is constantly working and he obviously thought about it and figured it out himself, that balloons can float up and get in to the sky..... that is why he gets balloons.... they can get up in to the sky and get to his PawPaw!
I know Holdyn is little but I am SO glad he got to know his PawPaw and he will never forget him and will always remember him. Balloons now have a very significant meaning to me, and I think they always will. A balloon is just not a 'balloon' anymore now. To my 5 year old, they are a significant rememberance of his PawPaw!
This morning he crawled up in to my lap to snuggle for a few minutes before he got ready for school. He said something about a balloon so I decided to take the opportunity and flip the situation around and question him about balloons. I said "Why do you like balloons so much?" He got the biggest smile on his face and just giggled and wouldn't say anything. I said "No seriously, tell mommy why you always get a balloon when we go to the store." Still smiling as big as ever and laughing he said "For PawPaw. I get balloons to send to PawPaw".
I never knew my 5 year old could make my heart stop, and that his memories could make such an impact on others. I decided to share the above story with a few family members who in turn, emailed it out to other family members. They all have written back telling me how they were crying their eyes out reading the email, and the screen was still blurry because their eyes were still filled with tears, happy tears. I printed out the story and mailed it to GiGi. I know she will be SO happy that Holdyn still has amazing memories of his PawPaw and that Holdyn is making sure PawPaw is still happy by sending him lots of balloons!
My favorite time of the day is at night when it is the only quiet time of the day and before I go to bed I go look at my sleeping babies.... I always wonder what their little minds are thinking about!!! The saying "Moms of boys work from Sun up to SON down" is SOOOO very true! They sure do know how to keep their momma on her toes, especially when I never know what Holdyn is going to say!
I think it's almost time to move Hadley out of the crib and in to a big girl bed!! Holdyn has always slept curled up in a ball and Hadley always sleeps stretched out... they are total opposite in every aspect of life!
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