Roller Coaster

I am emotionally drained tonight. It was a mentally hard night, and I'm sure tomorrow won't be any better. Our best friends invited us over for dessert tonight to share with them a special family moment. Their Au-pair, Maria, is leaving tomorrow, and we were honored to be asked to come join in on the farewell before she leaves tomorrow afternoon. Even though we have only known Maria for about 6 months, she means a lot to our family. We had multiple playdates and explored many towns and fun activites with her. She treated my children like they were her own. She was always there with a sweet smile, a big hug, and a unique personality that you don't find just anywhere! She knew that she was allowed to discipline Holdyn and Hadley, just as she would discipline Britton and Caroline if/when needed. My children knew/know this, and would (usually) not push the limits, knowing she had some authority!We spent our summer at the pool during countless hours of swim lessons and all tagged along to the water park on Jekyll Island, a trip to Hilton Head, multiplie visits to the children's museum, and weekly ballet lessons.

 

Holdyn wrote her a letter in preparation of her leaving. I told her he was just starting to write sentences. I think this meant so much to her and she held it to her heart after seeing and reading it.

"Ms. Maria, I had a lot of fun with you. I will miss you. Love, Holdyn"

Ashely put long hours in to making a memory book of the time that Maria has lived with them and been apart of their family. I know she will cherish this forever! She and Caroline both loved looking at it together and remembering all of the fun memories they had together!

The new Au-Pair, Sabrina is from Germany. She has been here 2 weeks. She seems very nice, but really hasn't had the time to warm up to us yet, and still seems a bit shy. I know she will feel more comfortable and warm up to us once we get to spend some more time with her!

 

 Caroline, Maria, and Ashley looking at all of the pictures of their adventures!

 

Sabrina and Maria... Maria kept telling me I needed to have a 3rd baby so that way I would need help and she would have to stay to help me! LOL!

Might as well go ahead and rip my heart out of my chest and stomp on it. Ashley and Maria crying together.

 

Caroline has always been really close to Maria. It is going to be an adjustment for her in the coming days and weeks. (Notice Britton and Holdyn missing??!! They were running around playing the entire time while the girls were trying to keep their eyes dry!)

Maria and I had to hold the big boys to get them to be still long enough for one picture!

 

Holdyn and Hadley made Maria a piece of artwork with their handprints and I framed it. 

Ashley's dad drove down to surprise Maria to be able to say goodbye to her on her last night here. One of her favorite things is his banana pudding, so he brought that along with him for her and everyone else. How sweet was that?! They were joining arms to have the first bite... Britton Sr. kept saying how 'disturbing' it looked while they were doing that... LOL!

 

 A family picture with Maria!

 

We were getting ready to leave and Holdyn went to tell her goodbye... another "rip your heart out and stomp on it" moment.

 

I am going to miss her so much! I am thankful for the time that we had together, and I am even more thankful for the way she loved and cared for my children.

I started to tear up while walking out the door and Ashley walked out on the porch with me to talk and say bye. All we could do was hug each other and cry. My heart hurts for her. Both of our husbands are gone for long periods of time for work, so we both know exactly how each other feels and we both relate so well because no one else really understands, unless you are in that situation, and we both have been a great resource for each other during difficult times.

 

Part of me feels guilty for feeling such emotion in 'loosing' Maria. She wasn't our Au-Pair, but we grew to love her and respect her. I feel like I need to be strong for Ashley, but part of me feels like I am crumbling inside, even though I know she is the one crumbling inside 10 times more than I am. I know Ashley and her family are hurting much more than I ever could imagine and much more than my kids will. I know that her family will struggle and deal with this 'loss' longer than my family will. I feel as if we are starting back at square one with a new Au-Pair (I know that sounds SO selfish) but we met Ashley and her family at the same time we met Maria... it was like a package deal.. ha! This time around I guess both of our families will all go through this 'new' process together of learning to love a new Au-Pair, not only as neighbors, but as friends.